I asked many people what they would like me to blog about and this was a topic that caught my interest. I was asked to blog about, “How to deal with negative people that do not know their negative”.
I really have to hold back my laughter on this one! How many of us actually know a person like this?
For starters, I would like to remind you that it is not our place to judge. However, it can be very difficult to share space with another person while they’re on a “Negative Nancy kick”! So how do we “deal” with this kind of attitude from another?
Ask yourself these questions to begin with. How well do you know this person? Family, friend, co-worker, fellow parent at school, boss, etc. I think you get the point. Right?
If it’s not someone that you have to deal with on a regular basis, I would limit conversation and really not make it your business. I mean really, if you think their so negative to begin with & you really do not have to interact very often, then I say let it slide & not get vested or involved in any of the other persons drama.
If this is a boss, family member, co-worker (you have to interact with more than not) or even a best friend, let’s face it your vested! Your career may depend on it! Family we can’t get away from (sometimes lol) we love our family and a true friend we care about and love, so I under stand you wanting to help them get through the negativity & see the positive. That’s what friends and family do after all! When we care about a person it’s only natural to want to help.
This is interesting to me because I myself have known people who are negative 95% of the time & in fact they view themselves as an extremely positive person. You can try to bring things up to them, show them examples of what your confronting & discussing with them & bottom line they will either hear you or they won’t, so BE CAREFUL on your delivery! The goal is to help not infurate them.
When I have been faced with this topic, I have handled it in a few ways. It really depends on your dynamic with the individual.
A Boss: Slight hints and suggestions on a positive solution or multiple solutions to the native subject. This may be a boss who is negative about everything & you want to do your job well, so coming up with a couple or more positive solutions may be a softer approach on pointing out a positive view & allowing your boss to choose some other options. This just may help your boss see what a great value you are by always bringing in new ideas & prospective to the table. If this completely back fires & you cannot work with this “Negative Nancy” you may want to think about looking for new employment. you can apply this to a co-worker for the most part as well.
A friend: You obviously care enough to be around this person & call them a friend even if they’re totally negative! Honesty is the best policy! I would sit down with this person & ask them what’s going on in their life because even though we think our friends share everything with us, that’s really not always the case. When someone is driving off negative emotions, that normally is coming from somewhere. If you know this person is going through a lot maybe a little more compassion or patience is needed on your part, I would ask yourself that question as well. If the person is just wired this way or stuck in a rut, then listen. Listening is so helpful, as questions, put in the effort & be honest & point out the things you view as negative because they might not even recognize they’re being negative at all! Again, this topic is, “how to deal with a negative person that doesn’t know they’re negative”. If you have been gentle, patient, firm, tried the tough love approach & nothing has changed, then I would ask yourself if you can continue this friendship? Most the time we can all work through this but let’s face it, we do grow & evolve away from people sometimes & although it’s sad or disappointing, it’s a part of life.
Some people are in our lives for seconds, months, decades, & then we have our “Lifers”! Remember not everyone we meet ends up “OUR LIFERS”.
The choice is yours. Make the best choice for you, your life, & family. I think I gave some good examples that you can apply to anyone. I really hope this helps & remember we are all perfect with our imperfections!
Light & Love! Samantha Bennington