This is 40

The age question has always bothered me. “How old are you?”

The age question has always bothered me. “How old are you?” Why do you need to know? I’m very anti-labels and boxes and I think there are all these judgments and expectations and messages that come along with age. Thanks, society. Get to know me for me. Don’t let my age influence what you think about me.

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I’ve always declined to answer the question, until now. I’m newly 40. It felt right to talk about it, particularly as a woman. We hear and internalize so many messages about how negative it is to age as a woman. You need this cream, this product, this treatment. Wear this, not that. You’re too old to do that. Screw that. Women are beautiful at every age; they’re incredible. Life is beautiful.

Most days, I’m fine, unphased. Age is just a number. And then there are these days that creep in where I’m like not okay. A song comes on and you find yourself losing your shit and crying hysterically because you just got transported to a time that doesn’t even feel like it was a part of your life but very clearly was. Breathe. Journal. At least my coping skills have gotten better.

What’s important to me at 40? The people in my life. The support system is everything. Trimming the fat (relationships-wise). I learn things about people much quicker these days and don’t waste my time and energy. Taking care of myself. Working out. Eating healthy, mostly. It makes me feel good. But I believe in balance and treating yourself. Life is too short.

This is starting to remind me of that, I guess we’ll call it a song, “Wear Sunscreen” that was around when I graduated. I’d say that shows my age but you know how old I am now! Speaking of sunscreen, very important. Skincare routine, religiously. I think I might finally have a grasp on it after struggling with adult acne, particularly annoying cystic acne, since my early 20s.

I put collagen in my coffee every morning now. Before Jennifer Aniston told me to. I love my manis. I love buying things that I feel good in. A little Swarovski here and there.

What else? Experiences. Traveling (hopefully). Still in love with living in NYC. I’m not sure if it’s forever but I’m taking it day to day. Same career-wise. Always trying to make a living doing things I enjoy and am passionate about. Spending vs. saving money? Kids, to have or not to have?

I’m not as sensitive as I was. I’ve learned how to deal with rejection better. Developed a thicker skin. You’ll never please everyone so just do you. I’m trying not to be so hard on myself but that’s a tough one, a work in progress. And one of my biggest mottos is embracing challenges in life. Through them come to the greatest rewards.

Reflecting is nice. We should stop and take time to acknowledge our lives, where we’ve been, and our growth. Capture the moment. You never know how long it will last. Cheers!

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