This week’s installment of Riverdale saw the devil himself invade the alternate universe of Rivervale and make our favorite characters offers they just couldn’t refuse. But who ended up burning in hell as a result?
A creepy man by the name of Lou Cypher (get it?!) invades Rivervale and he has a thing for souls. This whole five-part event is so weird and will probably be meaningless by episode six but let’s just roll with it. Anyway, Lou gives Pops a heart attack and informs Tabitha that her great-grandfather once sold his soul in exchange for Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe being a success. However, Pop Tate traded his soul in order to save his dad.
Things get weirder when Lou tells Tabitha he doesn’t want her soul, he wants Pop’s Chock’lit Shoppe instead. Maybe the devil has a sweet tooth?
After faking a deal, Tabitha, Pop, and Lou all meet at Pop’s. With some help from a little help from a guardian angel, Tabitha tricks Lou by sneaking some tears of the Virgin Mary from the Crucifixion into his shake. Lou vomits up blood and is banished from Pop’s for good. So chalk one up for the Rivervale kids!
Meanwhile, Lou goes to the soft opening of Reggie and Veronica’s casino. He wastes no time in showing Kevin what his future can be, cue the musical number and Kevin signs his soul away on the dotted line. Well, it was nice knowing you, Kev. Later, Veronica finds out Reggie made a deal with the devil to get the casino off the ground and he’s ready to start collecting his soul.
Veronica offers to save Reggie in the form of scumbag Nick St. Clair. He confesses to the usual crimes of hit-and-runs and the occasional DUI, so BOOM! Off to hell, he goes! However, the devil tells Ronnie he’ll be back on Saturday because Reggie didn’t sell his soul — he sold Veronica’s!
In order to save herself, the self-proclaimed “she-wolf of Wall Street” makes her own bargain with the devil: for the rest of her life, she delivers a lost soul from the casino to the devil. The devil knocks at the door and is there to collect Reggie’s soul since Ronnie played the former Riverdale football star like a fiddle.
Elsewhere, Betty spent the entire episode talking to the devil. He first appears in the form of TBK, wanting her soul. He tortures her with the voice of the killer father burning in hell but that doesn’t affect her. However, when she hears Polly’s voice, that sends her into a rage as she stabs TBK in the chest repeatedly. When she takes his mask off, it’s revealed to be her ex-boyfriend and former boss, Glen!
Betty is stunned and towards the end of the episode, we find out Betty hid Glenn’s body under the floorboards of her house. So, score a point for Mr. Cypher.
Lastly, we check in on Jughead. He was visited by satan with a spine-tingling offer. Lou offers him an interview in exchange for never writing again. The other plan is he can write but never tell the world what the devil told him. Obviously, Jug chose to INTERVIEW THE DEVIL. Would people even believe him?
Anyway, Jughead regrets this deal because he can’t even type a simple sentence shortly after. He calls the devil back to the school and begs him to change his mind. So, Jug signs his soul over to the devil.
Can this show get weirder? Apparently so! Sabrina pays Rivervale a visit next week.
Riverdale airs Wednesdays at 9/8c on The CW.